ifyoucarryonthisway:

hello 911 my sock is falling down inside my shoe 

(Source: averagefairy)

troyesivan:

i like how bee movie came out in 2007 and tumblr just had a collective epiphany at how fucked up it was 6 years later

boredoftherings:

acceptable pick up lines

  • u look frickable as heck/heckie/etc
  • hot hot like potat
  • grEAT SCo T t
  • c=(f-32)5/9
  • did u kno celery is a negative calorie food
#text #bromothymol queue

darrynek:

that girl you just called ugly? she’s dr. phil. that girl you just made fun of? dr. phil. that girl you just laughed at in the hallway? also dr. phil

(Source: panerasexual)

#text #bromothymol queue

phoolofatook:

i don’t trust people who don’t meow back at their cats

(Source: whatabootsecondbreakfast)

#text #bromothymol queue

lunatoneitdown:

babyferaligator:

successful text post

successful added comment that changes the point of the original post

(Source: 420dongsquad)

#text #bromothymol queue

jackadiddlediddle:

Sorry if you can’t see your next set over these mountains *flexes biceps*

#text

sighger:

seattleann:

sighger:

i cant wait till im a skeleton i want to dance and do skeleton things 

You’ll be dead… You won’t be able to dance…

then wtf do u call thisimage

(Source: mdmay)

#text #bromothymol queue

fugrats:

read this if u wanna date me

homevvrecker:

if i haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you don’t worry it will happen 

deargodidontfeelalive:

I may not go down in history but I’ll go down on you

so i painstakingly hand lettered this chalkboard with my favorite quote for my desk in my dorm

& because my family doesn’t like that i’m an atheist and don’t like the quote they took it out of my car and got rid of it

blackturtleneckgirl:

I need a shirt that says “idc that your dog jumped on me don’t get mad at the dog”

#text #bromothymol queue

quacklem0re:

Sometimes I check my messages to make sure I still have none

(Source: quacklemore)

#text

deucebasket:

Pro tip: Hold the door open for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off anyone else trying the enter the door.

#text